Revolutionaries You Should Avoid: Francisco Madero

fmaderoA leading revolutionary in the Mexican Revolution, Francisco Madero also served as Mexico’s president from 1911 to 1913. An avid vegetarian, he was assassinated after being betrayed by Victoriano Huerta. It is from his death that we get the proverb “A vegetarian Mexican president cannot pass through the eye of a needle to enter the kingdom of God, and will therefore be assassinated.”

WHY SHOULD YOU AVOID HIM? He wasn’t one of those normal libertarian vegetarians who believed in live-and-let-live-because-what’s-it-to-ya. No, instead he was one of those pushy vegetarians – the kind who always mooed whenever you took a bite of a burger, or who just always happened to be watching that one PETA video whenever you stopped by this house – the video where they show the chickens being chopped up into hamburger meat (I know nothing about biology or food processing).

Francisco Madero may have done many good things for Mexico, like lead the revolution and co-produce the show El Chavo (which coincidentally starred Fran Drescher), but he should nevertheless be avoided at all costs. Unless of course, you do enjoy being a vegetarian while simultaneously being shot in the face.

In which case, he can be emailed at the following address: franciscomadero@mexico.gov/deadrevolutionaries.com/whinyvegetarian@org.internet@emailaddress.com/forwardslash.dotcom/computers.

(Have you ordered your copy of Revolutions for Fun and Profit yet?)

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