Revolutionary Food Platters Are Delicious

As I mentioned yesterday, my PR person has instructed me to begin blogging on a daily basis. She also instructed me to shower on a daily basis, but I think she was just trying to yank my chain.

On an unrelated note, I have decided to stop wearing a chain around my neck.

Only 7 days remain until the release of my book, and I will admit that I am beginning to get a little nervous. I’ve invited many important VIPs and celebrities to my book release party (George Carlin, Orville Redenbacher, Farrah Fawcett, Ernest Hemingway, Jim Varney, Amelia Earhart, Marlon Brando, Jimmy Hoffa, the guy from the Verizon commercials), and even though none of them have responded yet to my invitations, I KNOW they’re going to show up. I offered to pay for their airfare and everything. Except for Amelia Earhart – she already has a plane!

Am I right or am I right?


I still haven’t decided yet on what type of revolutionary food to serve at the book release party. I thought of blood-soaked upside-down cake, or the fingers of my political enemies dipped in cocktail sauce, but surprisingly, Costco does not carry revolution-themed party platters. Surprisingly.

Any suggestions on what I should serve at my book release? Aside from ice water and good intentions?

And to those who ask: “Isn’t it a little late to be asking what kind of food to serve at your book release party,” I’d like to answer: “Can you bring a vegetable platter? Thanks, you’re the best.”


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