The Salt Lake Tribune is the Most Revolutionary Newspaper

The Salt Lake Tribune says you should go to my book release party, which is 5 days from today:

“Local columnist Ryan Shattuck will give a reading and signing of his debut satirical guidebook Revolutions for Fun and Profit! The Proletariat’s Guide to Political Uprisings, Citizen Revolutions and Personal Hygiene. Shattuck, set out to answer the many questions that new revolutionaries will undoubtedly have about starting a new revolution, including: Is it OK for revolutionaries to wear white after Labor Day? The guidebook also discusses revolutions throughout history.”

And the best part of the article? In the back of the Salt Lake Tribune there is always a crossword puzzle. I know!! Seriously, the Salt Lake Tribune is useful for everything.

Dewey

Except your taxes. And it can’t predict the future. Nor does the Tribune make a good companion for truck drivers, on their long hauls from coast (west) to coast (opposite of west). It also makes a terrible pie filling. And don’t even think about asking the Tribune to be your presidential running mate.

I take it back – the Salt Lake Tribune isn’t useful for anything. I’m going to cancel my subscription.

Well, after next week. I want to do tomorrow’s crossword puzzle.

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One Response to “The Salt Lake Tribune is the Most Revolutionary Newspaper”

  1. So when I read that quote I saw, “Ryan Shattuck will give a reading and SINGING…” And I thought, “Well, that’s fun.”

    But then my brain caught up and I realized it said “SIGNING”. Not nearly as fun as singing. You should reconsider.

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