This Is How You Receive a Giant, Revolutionary Check

Wow, I can’t believe the overwhelming response I’ve received to A VERY REVOLUTIONARY HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST!! In fact, I’ve received so many submissions that I’ve had to hire a person to count them, surf the web, and watch daytime court shows!

No, not really. I’m lying.

The truth is, I haven’t received a single submission at all. I also haven’t hired anyone. I originally wanted to hire my Uncle Kevin in an attempt at stimulating the economy, but I quickly realized that:

1.) I had no desire to help the economy, because the economy has never bothered to help me. Seriously, it won’t even return my calls.

2.) I don’t actually have an uncle named Kevin. Or Gunther, for that matter.

The point is, NOBODY HAS SENT ME A SINGLE SUBMISSION FOR THE REVOLUTIONARY HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST. I’m going to leave the contest up for a few more days, but if I still haven’t received a single submission by the end of the month, then I will:

  • Increase the prize money for the contest.
  • Or, cancel the contest.
  • Or worse case scenario, go on a nation-wide manhunt until I find my missing Uncle Kevin.

So if you plan on dressing up as a revolutionary for Halloween, and enjoy winning things, then send me a picture of your costume as soon as possible. Click here to read the rules to the costume contest.


Giant Check

But hopefully not. Because that pink robe doesn’t look flattering on you at all.


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