Tonight, There Will Be Revolutionary Blood

Onion
Today is the day we’ve been waiting for. And by “we,” I mean “just me.” And by “just me,” I mean “529-37-7163 is my social security number.”

Just so that we’re clear.

As I wrote earlier in the week, John Harris and Chad Nakers, staff writers for The Onion, are speaking at the Salt Lake City Library tonight as part of the Dewey Lecture series. And as I mentioned, I am not a big fan of The Onion because they’ve rejected my application 3 times. Needless to say, tonight will be a clash of two adversaries, not unlike that time when David ran into Goliath at the malt shop and threw down the smack because they were both wearing the same poodle skirt. Geez, that sure was embarrassing! And bloody.

Do I plan on giving The Onion a piece of mind tonight? I sure do. Do I plan on giving them a copy of my book Revolutions for Fun and Profit! with reckless abandon? Absolutely. Do I plan on wearing my poodle skirt? No, because my poodle skirt is currently traveling the United States with the J. Edgar Hoover Memorial Tour.

If you live in Salt Lake City, and would like to attend the The Onion lecture tonight at the library, you may acquire more information by following this link. But be warned: There will be blood.

Starring Daniel Day-Lewis.

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2 Responses to “Tonight, There Will Be Revolutionary Blood”

  1. […] Revolutions for Fun and Profit « Tonight, There Will Be Revolutionary Blood […]

  2. […] you already know, I have a long-standing feud with The Onion, for rejecting not one, not two, not four, but THREE of my applications to write for them. […]

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