A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009: February & March

Fellow revolutionaries:

Two days ago I posted a blog entry titled A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009: January. As I mentioned, I wrote a massive review of the year 2009, which I plan on sharing with all of you. But… it’s enormous! I’m not kidding. In fact, if the Bible and the dictionary were to have a baby together, my Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009 would STILL BE LARGER (although to be fair, the baby would probably be put up for adoption).

Therefore, I’ve broken the Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009 into 12 smaller pieces, to prevent bloating or hemorrhaging. You can thank me in 2010. I’ve also decided to group February and March together, because there are only 28 days in February, and March is really boring.

FEBRUARY

  • USA Swimming suspended Michael Phelps from competition for three months upon the discovery of a photo of Phelps smoking marijuana. USA Swimming stated they would reinstate him once he started doing drugs that were more becoming of professional athletes, like steroids.
  • The Peanut Corporation of America filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Then, to make matters worse, it began paying its shareholders in… well… one of its exports.
  • General Motors and Chrysler asked the Federal Government for $21.6 billion more dollars. The Federal Government agreed to give the two automobile companies the money, because it was their tenth punch on their punch card.
  • The film Slumdog Millionaire won Best Picture at the 2009 Academy Awards, for accurately depicting a day in the life of socialite Kim Kardashian.

MARCH

  • The Dow Jones fell below 7,000 points for the first time since 1997, in a failed suicide attempt.
  • President Obama lifted George W. Bush’s restrictions on embryonic stem cell research, causing people from around the world with Lou Gehrig’s disease to whisper with joy.
  • For throwing his shoes at former President George W. Bush in December 2008, Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zaidi was sentenced to three years in prison, and two years community service at a Payless Shoe Source.

(Other months in “A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009”)

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9 Responses to “A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009: February & March”

  1. […] Revolutions for Fun and Profit! « A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009: February & March […]

  2. […] been posting A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009 all week, and so far have covered January, February, March and April. Let’s review May 2009, shall we? After all, it’s the American […]

  3. […] MADE IT HALFWAY THROUGH THE REVOLUTIONARY REVIEW OF THE YEAR 2009. So far, we’ve covered January, February, March, April, May, and June. I’m very proud of you that you’ve stuck with me this far. In […]

  4. […] posting A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009. I’ve already covered the months of January, February, March, April, May, June and […]

  5. […] already reviewed the months of January, February, March, April, May, June and July and August, which means it’s time […]

  6. […] you know what comes after the months of January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, and September in my Revolutionary Review of the Year […]

  7. […] end of A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009. We’ve already covered the months of January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September and October. Do you realize what this […]

  8. […] after already reviewing the months of January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October and November, you can now review the […]

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