A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009: April

Fellow revolutionaries:

Welcome back! For those of you just joining our program (that’s funny because this is a website, not a television program!!), I’m posting a Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009 during the next two weeks. So far we’ve covered January, February, and March. Which means it’s time for… a commercial! (that’s funny, because this is a website, not a television program!!)

No, but seriously. I don’t want anyone to confuse this website with a television. I already have enough blood on my hands.

What I meant to say was, it’s time for a Revolutionary Review of April 2009. Sorry, everybody.

APRIL

  • Iowa’s Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage. Two days later, all of Iowa’s crops were destroyed by a plague of locusts, which had been unleashed by the wrath of an angry and vengeful god.
  • Vermont became yet another state in New England to legalize same-sex marriage, after it was passed by the General Assembly. The move infuriated critics of same-sex marriage, who claimed “the Bible says Ben and Eve, not Ben and Jerry.”
  • Susan Boyle appeared as a contestant on Britain’s Got Talent, and surprised the audience with her amazing voice when she sang “I Dreamed a Dream.” Eager to cash in on the trend, Hollywood unleashed a wave of dowdy, frumpy-dressed middle-aged woman imitators in the months that followed.
  • Millions of participants across the United States participated in Tax Day Tea Party protests against the government, outraged that the income tax rate had risen from 35% in 2008 to 35% in 2009.
  • China’s government discovered 2,390 more miles of the Great Wall of China. It was hiding behind 1.3 billion people.
  • Bea Arthur, who isn’t Michael Jackson, died at the age of 86.
  • The United States declared a public health emergency over the outbreak of the swine flu, which was later renamed H1N1 after complaints from Miss Piggy.
  • Senator Arlen Specter announced that he was switching from the Republican Party to the Democratic Part. Later, just to further confuse his constituents, he announced he was becoming a woman.
  • President Obama celebrated his 100th day of the most difficult job ever by logging on to Monster.com and looking for a new job.

(Other months in “A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009”)

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8 Responses to “A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009: April”

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  2. […] THE REVOLUTIONARY REVIEW OF THE YEAR 2009. So far, we’ve covered January, February, March, April, May, and June. I’m very proud of you that you’ve stuck with me this far. In fact, you deserve […]

  3. […] Review of the Year 2009. I’ve already covered the months of January, February, March, April, May, June and […]

  4. […] already reviewed the months of January, February, March, April, May, June and July and August, which means it’s time […]

  5. […] you know what comes after the months of January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, and September in my Revolutionary Review of the Year […]

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  7. […] after already reviewing the months of January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October and November, you can now review the most […]

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