A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009: July

Fellow revolutionaries:

We did it. WE MADE IT HALFWAY THROUGH THE REVOLUTIONARY REVIEW OF THE YEAR 2009. So far, we’ve covered January, February, March, April, May, and June. I’m very proud of you that you’ve stuck with me this far. In fact, you deserve an award. Like a Nobel Peace Prize.

Speaking of topical humor, isn’t it ridiculous that the jury found O.J. Simpson not-guilty of killing that woman?

Let’s continue with A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009, shall we?

JULY

  • Alaska Governor Sarah Palin announced she would resign at the end of the month, after having weathered a barrage of “criticisms” and “obligations.”
  • One person died in a monorail collision at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, prompting the Disney company to change the park’s moniker from “The Happiest Place on Earth” to “A Place on Earth.”
  • Al Franken was sworn in as Senator, giving the Democratic Party a filibuster-proof majority. Unfortunately, all the Democratic Party accomplished with their Senate majority was to take all the good donuts from the Senate break room on Donut Fridays.
  • The “America’s Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009” was introduced, although it would later be renamed “America’s Affordable Health Choices Act of 2073” to reflect the amount of time it would take Congress to pass it.
  • The Catholic Church praised the film Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which was surprising to many, considering that the Church originally accused the Harry Potter book series of promoting witchcraft. Even more surprising, was that the Church gave the film G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra only two stars.
  • The tallest building in the United States, the Sears Tower, was renamed the Willis Tower by a London-based insurance company, because “What you talkin’ about Sears” wasn’t as funny.
  • Walter Cronkite, who isn’t Michael Jackson, died at the age of 92.
  • President Obama hosted a “Beer Summit” at the White House, in response to the controversy surrounding the arrest of Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates. The Beer Summit was proved to be a success, as Obama finally brokered a peace treaty between the warring nations of Budweiser and Coors.

(Other months in “A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009”)

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5 Responses to “A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009: July”

  1. […] You already know the drill. For the past week I’ve been posting A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009. I’ve already covered the months of January, February, March, April, May, June and July. […]

  2. […] already reviewed the months of January, February, March, April, May, June and July and August, which means it’s time […]

  3. […] you know what comes after the months of January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, and September in my Revolutionary Review of the Year […]

  4. […] Year 2009. We’ve already covered the months of January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September and October. Do you realize what this […]

  5. […] after already reviewing the months of January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October and November, you can now review the most revolutionary month of them […]

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