A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009: October

Do you know what comes after the months of January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, and September in my Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009?

Twelve Drummers Drumming!!!!!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I really hope you enjoyed that little post-Christmas joke. I’ll have you know, many men died to secure the freedoms we currently take for granted, just so that we may share jokes such as this. And how many men died, you may ask?

Twelve!!!!!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Speaking of dead people, here’s a review of the month of October:

OCTOBER

  • David Letterman announced on his show that he had sex with a number of female employees over the years. The next day, Conan O’Brian, fearing his competing late night show would be outpaced in the ratings, announced that he was a transvestite prostitute.
  • The International Olympic Committee awarded the 2016 Summer Olympics to Rio de Janeiro after Chicago had a disappointing performance in the swimsuit competition.
  • The United States Federal Trade Commission issued specific regulations for writers for blogs, which I believe is fair and just. In fact, I, for one, welcome our new internet overlords.
  • Another ring around Saturn was discovered by scientists at the U.S. Space Agency Observatory, leading researchers to believe that Saturn – with its many rings – may secretly be a polygamist.
  • President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize, narrowly beating out Marily Streep for her role in the acclaimed film Doubt.
  • President Obama announced the end of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” at a fundraising dinner for the Human Rights Campaign in Washington. Some later pointed out that he never actually told when he would end the policy, as nobody had asked him.
  • Some kid was in a weather balloon and then he wasn’t and then his parents tried to have a reality tv show and then the kid was on CNN and admitted he was hiding in the attic and then the parents were arrested for fooling the media and God bless America.

(Other months in “A Revolutionary Review of the Year 2009”)

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