Revolutionary Tip Tuesdays: Mercenaries are Home Deliverable

Fellow revolutionaries:

After brainstorming new ideas for 2010 with my staff (i.e. a parrot, my gynecologist, a schizophrenic mortician with a wooden leg, and the ghost of Frank Sinatra), it was suggested that every Tuesday I offer a NEW revolutionary tip for all the budding revolutionaries out there in Revolutionary World (patent pending)!

Therefore it gives me great pride to present, with generous underwriting by the estate of Frank Sinatra, as well as Toro Leaf Blowers (“Leave the blowing to us!”)…

Revolutionary Tip Tuesdays!

Every week – probably on Tuesday, or whenever, I don’t know – I will share with you a revolutionary tip which is sure to be useful and necessary and gluten-free and located in the 48 contiguous United States.

Here is today’s tip: mercenaries are home deliverable.

Sometimes when you’re fighting a revolution, political uprisings, or other related situation (i.e. the crowd at a Tyler Perry film), you will find yourself short on manpower and/or womanpower and/or childrenpower. Naturally, you will turn to hiring a “mercenary,” which is to say, a professional soldier hired by a foreign army. But what do you do if you don’t have time to pick up your hired mercenary?

Have it delivered!

Many people would be surprised (especially if they’re at a surprise party) to learn that Netflix not only delivers films, television shows, and baked goods, but will also deliver mercenaries. The best part is, the mercenary comes with a free return envelope; as soon as your revolution successfully overthrows the government, you simply return your mercenary to Netflix… free of charge!

Now who says there’s no such thing as a free lunch? Hahahahahahahahaha!! Actually, everybody says that.

So what are you waiting for? Have your mercenary delivered… today!


One Response to “Revolutionary Tip Tuesdays: Mercenaries are Home Deliverable”

  1. […] Tip Tuesdays: How to Get the Most Out of Your Bullets As I mentioned last week, every Tuesday I will share with you – aspiring revolutionaries – a tip which will you will […]

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