Revolutionary Tip Tuesdays: Cut Down on the Cost of Body Bags

Unfortunately, being a revolutionary means you may have to kill a few people. A revolution without bloodshed is like a cranberry bran muffin without cranberries – and honestly, who wants a plain bran muffin? Answer: nobody.

Let’s say you just murdered a few people because they disagreed with your political beliefs, and/or thought Jay Leno should take over The Tonight Show. You have to get rid of that body. BUT BODY BAGS ARE EXPENSIVE! Not only are they expensive, but only 40% of Costcos nationwide even carry them. What do you do?

I have just two three words for you: “the plastic bags that newspapers come in, and sewing machines.” Sorry, that was more like four words.

It’s simple! To make your own homemade body bag, follow these steps:

1.) Read the newspaper and become informed about the world. Be sure to not skip the Marmaduke comic, because he’s always getting into all SORTS of trouble!

2.) Keep the plastic bag.

3.) Plug in your sewing machine.

4.) Chuckle to yourself, as you remember the antics of Marmaduke. Who does he think he is, a person?!

5.) Sew the edges of all the plastic newspaper bags together.

6.) Voilà! You now have a homemade body bag.

As a final reminder, always make sure to wash your hands after handling a dead body, especially if you’ve just used the bathroom.

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