The Sundance Film Festival Is Kind of Revolutionary

I love movies. In fact, I love movies so much that I once stood precariously on the edge of a cliff and could save just one of the following: on my left was a basket of puppies, and to my right was an envelope with two tickets to The Ugly Truth, starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler. Guess which one I saved from falling off the cliff? I’ll give you a clue: Katherine Heigl is an overrated actress, and (probably) isn’t a puppy.

Now WHY exactly was I standing precariously on the edge of a cliff with a basket of puppies and two tickets to The Ugly Truth in the first place? All I’ll say is this: thank you, Make-A-Wish Foundation.

I love watching movies at film festivals, and there certainly isn’t a more revolutionary film festival than the Sundance Film Festival (sponsored by Hewlett-Packard: “The Computer is Personal Again”). That having been said, I’m slightly bothered that the theme of the 2010 Sundance Film Festival (sponsored by Honda: “The Power of Dreams”) is “This Is the Renewed Rebellion.” Really? They’re using revolutions as their motif and they didn’t even bother to contact me?!

I’m very offended. But what’s worse, is I went to the Sundance Film Festival (sponsored by Entertainment Weekly: “Bringing Entertainment to You, Every Week”) during the weekend and I didn’t see a single revolutionary anything. No political uprisings… no public executions… no parades through Trafalgar Square while wearing Guy Fawkes masks. How is that revolutionary?!

I do love movies, and I do believe that I am the world’s foremost expert on all things revolutionary (my credentials are… um… in the pockets of my other pants, thanks for asking), but I do NOT believe that the Sundance Film Festival (sponsored by Sundance Channel: “You Never Watch This Channel Except When Your Pretentious Friends Are Visiting And You Happen To Have This Channel On In The Background So That They’ll Think You’re Really Culturally Elite, Douchebag”) is revolutionary.

OMG, I JUST SAW TILDA SWINTON.

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5 Responses to “The Sundance Film Festival Is Kind of Revolutionary”

  1. Tilda’s totally on board to play you in the movie version of RFFAP, right?

  2. Incorrect. I thought we already decided that I would be played by a young Billy Crystal.

  3. I actually think Heigl is an under rated actress and is much better than the flack she often gets. That said even as a fan of hers..who wouldnt save the puppies.

  4. Somebody needs to get casting on the phone.

  5. You make me laugh.

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