Revolutionary Tip Tuesdays: 300 Thread Count

Fellow revolutionaries:

Believe it or not, I sometimes get busy. Not only do I get busy, but sometimes I even get lazy. And when I become busy and lazy, then the worst possible thing happens: orphans die I do not update this blog.

Today, for Revolutionary Tip Tuesday, I am reposting an old blog post from May 2009, titled “Revolutionary Thread Count of the Week: 300 Thread Count.” Enjoy. Or don’t enjoy. It’s the same to me.

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300Thread counts come and go. Lewis & Clark famously slept under a 150 thread count comforter (at the same time – they were totally gay for each other). However, once they met Sacagawea and her box of inflatable buffalo skins (a.k.a. the first water bed), they donated the comforter to the Salvation Army.

Ever heard of Leon Trotsky? Don’t worry, no one else has either. He was one of the leaders of the Russian October Revolution, and his life was the basis of both October Sky and Apollo 13. The point is, even less memorable than his life is his 200 thread count quilt. To this day, Trotsky’s contemporaries do not recall seeing him sleep, let alone with anything made from 200 threads.

Which brings us to the 300 thread count. The sails of the Mayflower? Made from 300 thread count. The coonskin cap worn by Davy Crocket? Made from 300 thread count. The bag William Wallace’s head was placed in, after he was beheaded? Made from 300 thread count. The flag sewn together by Betsy Ross? Made from 300 thread count and copper wiring (which explains the American flag’s bulletproofness). The first bus in which Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back? Made from 300 thread count.

If you’re looking for the most revolutionary thread count available, look for anything with a 300 thread count. Spray with the blood of a virgin, if available.


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