Archive for the Revolutionary Holiday Category

Remembering Irish Writers for St. Patrick’s Day

Posted in Revolutionary Holiday, Revolutionary Irish Writers, Revolutionary Leprechauns, Revolutionary St. Patrick's Day on March 17, 2010 by Ryan Shattuck

I apologize there wasn’t a blog post yesterday. It was planning on being here, but it had to go pick up the kids from soccer practice.

Like many writers, I have an affinity for other authors. As the author behind the runaway bestseller, Revolutions for Fun and Profit!, I understand the sacrifice, work, and alcoholism hard work that goes into writing a book.

As today is St. Patrick’s Day, I would like to take a moment to remember some of the important Irish writers who have influenced my writing:

Jonathan Swift

James Joyce

George Bernard Shaw

William Butler Yeats

Oscar Wilde

Happy Revolutionary Valentine’s Weekend!

Posted in Revolutionary Holiday, Revolutionary Prison, Revolutionary Valentine's Day on February 12, 2010 by Ryan Shattuck

I hope everyone has a very revolutionary Valentine’s weekend! Here’s a picture of a prison:

The 105th Anniversary of Bloody Sunday

Posted in Revolutionary Bloody Mary, Revolutionary Bloody Sunday, Revolutionary Father Gapon, Revolutionary Holiday, Revolutionary St. Petersburg on January 22, 2010 by Ryan Shattuck

It’s amazing to think that it’s already been 105 years since Bloody Sunday. It seems like it was only yesterday that I joined with Father George Gapon and other peaceful demonstrators in St. Petersburg, Russia to present a petition to Tsar Nicholas II, only to be brutally gunned down. Time sure does fly when you’re having fun!

One of my biggest regrets of having never ran for Congress is knowing that I never had an opportunity to introduce legislation that would mandate January 22nd of every year as “Bloody Sunday Day.” Maybe this has a little something to do with the fact that “Bloody Sunday Day” would be confusing if it fell on, for example, a Wednesday. Although what a great commercial this would make:

“All furniture is half off this Wednesday for our Bloody Sunday Day Sale!!!!! This Wednesday only.”

Just because we don’t celebrate Bloody Sunday Day here in the United States doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate ourselves. Start a bloody parade! Attend a bloody rally! Throw a bloody party! Or if you lack both the time and friends to initiate any of the above… then have a bloody mary!

Happy Bloody Sunday Day!

Buy “Revolutions for Fun and Profit!” This Weekend For Only $11.99

Posted in Revolutionary Discount, Revolutionary Holiday, Revolutionary Martin Luther King Jr, Revolutionary Sale on January 15, 2010 by Ryan Shattuck

Fellow revolutionaries:

This upcoming Monday is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. There isn’t an individual more revolutionary in American history than Martin Luther King Jr., and there isn’t a tradition more American than taking advantage of a holiday to sell crap at a discounted price.

THIS WEEKEND ONLY, buy Revolutions for Fun and Profit! directly from the author for only $11.99 (plus shipping & handling):

So if you enjoy procrastinating as much as I enjoy being shameless, then you will want to buy Revolutions for Fun and Profit! this weekend.

“Revolutions for Fun and Profit!” Declares Jihad on the AFA and Christmas

Posted in Revolutionary American Family Association, Revolutionary Bill O'Reilly, Revolutionary Holiday, Revolutionary Jihad, Revolutionary Publicity Stunt, Revolutionary War on Christmas on November 30, 2009 by Ryan Shattuck

Fellow revolutionaries:

It is the policy of RevolutionsForFunAndProfit.com to not take a stance when it comes to political issues (see: section 3, paragraph 7 of the policy & procedures manual). I wrote Revolutions for Fun and Profit! to instruct aspiring revolutionaries in how to start a revolution, but it was never my intention to tell people which revolution they should or should not be starting or not starting. In this regard, my book is a lot like the Bible. The Bible tells you how you should sell your daughter into slavery, but it doesn’t tell you which daughter you should sell (hint: the overweight red-haired one).

That having been said, RevolutionsForFunAndProfit.com is officially releasing the following statement:

I am officially declaring jihad on Bill O’Reilly, the American Family Association, and, most importantly, Christmas.

AFA

Now I’m assuming that this sudden announcement has caught a lot of you both off guard and on guard. Understandably, you have a lot of questions, such as “What is a jihad?” and “Why are you declaring it on little ol’ Christmas?”

To answer your first question: I don’t know. I think I heard I heard the word “jihad” on the news or something. To answer your second question: I am declaring jihad on Christmas because you should always stand for something you believe in (unless you’re a quadriplegic).

I believe that Christmas is a great holiday. But is it revolutionary? Not really. Has Christmas ever worn a Che Guevara beret? No. Has Christmas ever deposed the head of government? No. Has Christmas ever transitioned from a theocracy to a monarchy to a democracy within the span of only 24 hours? No. Christmas is not revolutionary. And revolutionaries should only, only celebrate revolutionary holidays.

There you have it. This website WILL NOT be celebrating Christmas. Hey American Family Association, you think that The Gap is a Christmas-hating, winter solstice-loving pagan? Then you’ve obviously never heard of RevolutionsForFunAndProfit.com, who is more of a Christmas-hating, winter solstice-loving pagan than anyone else!

But seriously, American Family Association, have you never heard of RevolutionsForFunAndProfit.com?

And to those who think I am trying to get the American Family Association to boycott my book as a publicity stunt to sell more books, I say Merry Christmas you are wrong!

Happy Revolutionary Thanksgiving!

Posted in Revolutionary Holiday, Revolutionary Thanksgiving, Revolutionary Turkey on November 26, 2009 by Ryan Shattuck

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, everyone! Be sure to do something revolutionary to celebrate – like overrun the government, or pass out from too much tryptophan.