Non-revolutionary Fashion for a Revolutionary Photo Shoot

I’m going to be shot at a photo shoot tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ll wear my bulletproof vest (it prevents bullets and unflattering pictures).

The photo shoot is for something that will be appear in a local publication in relation to my book, Revolutions for Fun and Profit! I probably shouldn’t write too much about the photo shoot until after it is actually published, only because I have a tendency of jinxing things by writing about them before they happen. For example, I once wrote on my blog that a friend of mine was planning on seeing Our American Cousin at Ford’s Theatre… chaos ensued… and now you know why Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. Sorry, everybody.

Me and my big mouth.

So while I shouldn’t mention what this photo shoot is for until after the actual pictures are published, I will however mention that I’m a little anxious about what to wear. When I asked the publication what clothes I should bring, I was told “Wear whatever you want. Preferably, clothes.” THAT DOESN’T HELP ME. WHAT SHOULD I WEAR? One thing that I completely neglected to mention in the book Revolutions for Fun and Profit! is that revolutionaries aren’t very classy dressers. They tend to wear whatever is lying on the floor, whether it be an ironic “Dukes of Hazzard” t-shirt, or an empty potato sack. (hint: if forced to choose between wearing the “Dukes of Hazzard” t-shirt or the empty potato sack, wear the potato sack).

So you can see my dilemma. Revolutionaries from all over will be looking to me for fashion inspiration, and if I wear anything that even remotely looks like conformity, I’ll be done for. Can you imagine if U.S. president and revolutionary, George Washington, had worn a mock turtleneck during the American Revolution? Or what if his belt had matched his sensible shoes when he crossed the Potomac River? We wouldn’t be here today.

So, fellow revolutionaries, I ask you: what should I wear for my revolutionary photo shoot tomorrow?